April 17, 2008

Unknown......

I had a moment today that I am sure every adoptive parent (especially international adopted) goes through. In the back of my mind I knew the answers but having to write them down in black and white was very heartbreaking for me.

Avery had her first visit today with the pediatrician. First and foremost he was awesome with her and we received a glowing report.

When we entered the office we were given the standard paperwork packet to fill out. Of course the first sheet was the basics: name, address, parents, insurance, etc....it was the second page that really got me. This page contained the "Pediatric Health History". The first portion was about pregnancy. The second portion was about the birth and days immediately after birth, and then there was a section about family history. When I got to this section I thought "whew! Finally something I can answer." I got about 1/3 of the way done answering the questions about family history of heart disease, cancer, etc when it occurred to me that even this portion I could not answer. It's really irrelevant what Paul's and my family medical history is when it comes to Avery. She is not predisposed to high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer from our gene pool. By the time I got to the end of the sheet it was a sad site that on 80% of it I had to write UNKNOWN....and it got to me.

When we chose the path of adoption we knew there were certain things we would never know about Avery's start in life. We knew this and have told ourselves this repeatedly but when we have to write it down somehow all those things that you know and thought you were prepared for show up in a different light. I am sure this is just the first of many times we will feel inadequate about our daughter's history. We can't change the past but we can vow to change her future.

Anyway, on to more positive things.......as I stated earlier we did receive a glowing report. Avery is right on target with her height and head circumference. She is on the lower end of the charts for weight (which we knew) but there should be not problem with her catching up there very soon. We will go back in 3 weeks and they will do all her blood work and give her the 1 year immunizations. That should be fun!!! Even though she is slightly behind developmentally the strides she has made in the short amount of time she has been with us lead our physician to believe she will catch up soon there as well. We plan to watch her development for about 6 months and then judge from there if we think further intervention is needed.

Now of course I had to take a couple of pictures of this "first":


Avery stripped down and chillin' out to get her measurements taken. She weighed in a whoppin' 18 lbs and 2 oz and is 29" long.

She found all kinds of things to play with in the exam room!

Thanks for checking in with us!!!

8 comments:

Erin said...

That was the hardest part for me as well - not knowing how to answer those questions. I'll never forget the very first appointment we had with the ped and his nurse kept asking us questions about her birth, her history, etc. I kept answering, "I don't know" with a smile on my face thinking that she would finally catch on. She finally got frustrated and asked me, "Well, do you know anything about her history?" I was so fed up that I said, "No. I know we adopted her from China and we know that she was abandoned. Do you need anything else?" Some people are just so clueless. Thank goodness we have a much better ped now.

Avery is absolutely adorable and I can't wait to hug her on Saturday. Love you!

Anonymous said...

There is something about seeing things in black and white in front of you that hits you differently than when the sames facts are thoughts in your head.

The most important thing to focus on isn't where she came from, but where she is going....and that is a full and happy life with her wonderful family.

Love V

Kim said...

I can just imagine how you felt... that is something we are all going to sit and think about when the time comes.. but you are sooo right ... you can make her life soooo fullfilling..
Glad Avery is doing well..
Have a Great Week..
SHe is soooo adorable..

Norma said...

My girls are 12, 11 and 10 now and in all the years since we were blessed with them are so full of life and love it doesn't seem to matter any more what those first few months were like. We are grateful to their bio parents for giving them life but their history is something we can never know so we just let it go.
Avery is adorable and I can so remember how wonderful those first few months were. We were so in love!!!

Anonymous said...

I have had to fill out a lot of those forms-the pediatrician, the allergist and now the ENT.

4 years later it doesn't get any easier to see the reminder of what we will never know this side of paradise.

God surely broke my heart for my daughter and to His glory, He uses this to remind me to pray for her birthparents. My prayer is that somehow they will come to know Jesus so we can have a glorious reunion with them in Heaven. And where I can hopefully thank them for giving me the greatest gift and joy in life.

We will miss seeing y'all tomorrow night at Miss Avery's debut. I can't wait to see pictures of the EVENT!
Beth

RamblingMother said...

I know what you mean and those moments come without warning sometimes!! She is adorable though.

Beverly

Anonymous said...

We went through this with our doctor reviewing our Chu Wei's file before we wrote our LOI. You said it: black and white. It's hard. Hugs!
The Blocks are about to travel for Lily, Chu Fu Rong, and are going to the SWI. Another family expects to travel in May and plan to go out, too.
Glad to see Avery sleeping well and making such good progress.
Trena
XuZhou mom of ChuWei waiting for us there

Anonymous said...

Hi from a fellow Texan! I just found your blog on another website and thought I would peek in! We just got home about a month ago with our baby girl Catherine. When we went to the IA doctor, we still had to fill out a standard form and not being able to fill out her medical history hit me pretty hard too. It's something that just isn't really talked about. Anyway, congratulations!!!

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