Okay all you veteran mother's out there, I come to you begging for some help. Our dear precious daughter has decided it's no longer necessary to sleep through the night.
Let me give you some background: when we were in China she was a champion sleeper, no issues at all. Once we came home she had a difficult time adjusting to the time change but with consistent bedtime routines after about 2 weeks we were able to establish a routine and she went to sleep with no little trouble and would sleep through the night. She did great for about 6-7 weeks but now since she is mobile it is a whole different story!!!
We practice our same nighttime routine and she initially goes to sleep pretty easy (around 9pm) but if (I should probably say when) she wakes up during the night she now stands up and proceeds to scream and scream and scream. This usually occurs between 2-3am. I have tried to let her cry for just a little but she WILL NOT lay back down on her own. Once she stands she is there until someone comes in. If I lay her down she immediately stands back up. If I take her out of the crib and rock her she is back to sleep in 1-2 minutes but the moment I lay her back in the crib the above scenario repeats itself. I have even tried rocking her for over 30 minutes to get her into a deeper sleep but she still wakes the moment I lay her in the crib. This is the drama we have had every night for over a week now and I am at such a loss.
Now on to naptime: Once again because she is sitting up, walking around the furniture, crawling she has no desire to nap. The only way we have figured out to get her to nap is to physically lay beside her with one arm lightly over her chest to make her be still enough to nap.
So that's my predicament. If any of you mom's out there have any tips, suggestions, or advice for getting our angel to sleep through the night or take a nap please leave a comment!!!! We are open to try almost anything at this point!!!
Thanks!!!!!
8 comments:
Could she have an ear infection?
Our daughter went through a HORRIFIC time of waking around the same time as your daughter and refusing to go back to sleep.
A few things we did:
1.) added a brighter night light
2.) removed toys/dolls from the crib (She had become frightened by them.)
3.) Eventually we let her cry it out. I would go in one time, tell her I loved her and that it was time to sleep. I would kiss her, lay her down and leave... without looking back. Each night the length of time she cried got shorter. It about killed me to listen to her. I would sit up in the family room listening to my daughter struggle. Our pediatrician, who specializes in IA told us that it would not harm her to let her cry. I trusted him.. and it worked.
Good luck! I hope things resolve quickly.
P.S.
I know MANY people are against allowing a child to cry it out.. but when it is that or the health and well being of YOU and your child... it was worth it for us. I was so over tired that I was getting sicker and sicker.
I know you're hoping there's a solution out there other than letting that sweet girl cry, but that was the only thing I ever found that worked long-term. We started out where I would let the baby cry for 10 minutes before I went back in and reassured her, and then we would stretch it out a few minutes every night, but you finally have to resolve after some point that you won't go back in at all. It will just about break your heart the first few nights, but the crying time does get shorter as they learn that it's not rewarded.
Good luck!
I'm afraid I have to second what Mary (who we traveled with in 2004 - hello Mary!!!!) and Eloise said. You just have to let her cry it out. I would suggest that you go in after a few minutes, assure her that you are there for her, tell her you love her and walk away. Don't go back in there. She WILL go back to sleep. Right now, she has you figured out. She knows that if she pitches a big enough fit, you will come in and spend time with her. She has the control and you need to get that back. We didn't have this hard a time with Mollianne, but we did have some sleep issues. Letting her cry it out will be the absolute hardest thing you will do but the time she cries will get shorter and shorter until she realizes that she doesn't have control anymore. Even now, Mollianne will start to cry some nights and I know it is because she wants to sleep with us. I just go in, tell her I love her and we are there if she gets really scared and then I walk away. She will cry for a bit but will eventually fall asleep. I promise - do this for a week and you will see improvement.
Love you, girl. Kiss Avery for us!
Like everyone else said you just have to let her cry it out. Our little guy cried for 1 hour we went in a few times to let him know we were still there. By the end of the night we were all crying but it did get less and less each night. It took us one week to get him sleeping again. We are just about ready to start it with our sweet baby girl I am dreading it but not as much as getting up with her in the middle of the night every night! Good luck I am feeling your pain.
We could not do crying it out.... I can highly recommend the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers" by Elizabeth Pantley. LOTS of suggestions and you can pick which ones work for you and your family. Also, she may just be going throuogh a phase and once she works through it, it will resolve on its own. Makes it somewhat easier to know it will likely end in a week or two! I am also a nurse so know what it is like to try and deal with a young child and your patients on little sleep : )
Andrea
Well, I waited so long to post a comment, but I agree with most of the comments here. Letting a young one cry through the night is NEVER easy, but we have learned as parents that there are so many things you have to "toughen up" to when you realize it's for their own good. It doesn't usually take very many nights of crying (as long as there isn't an underlying issue, like ear infection) before there is no crying at all. And if you think about it, a few nights of crying for many more nights of healthy sleep are much more worth it than weeks or months of trying to go in her room every time she's crying to no avail. Hope she gives you some rest soon! By the way, you look so pretty!
I've done the crying it out method and it's HARD. The first night 45 minutes of crying and Neil and I got into a huge fight...very, very stressful. The second: 25. The third 10. It was a rough three nights, but our little one is a champion sleeper now. 7 pm to 6 am everynight with nary a peep! We can even put him down awake at bedtime and if he doesn't lay down immediately, he'll play quietly until he's tired. He is relating his bed to quiet and sleep time now.
EXCEPT...in two instances.
One, when he has an ear infection. Jon is a happy precocious little boy that loves to play and eat. When he has an ear infection, I rarely know about it other than a little runny nose. He doesn't pull his ears, he doesn't cry a lot, he just doesn't sleep. Once antibiotics are in his system for a few days, he's back to being a champion sleeper again.
Two, when he has too much sugar. I don't feed him a lot of junk food, but even too much apple juice during the day or an extra serving of popsicle or something like that is enough to throw his system into overdrive. It doesn't take much for a 20 lb baby to get riled up on sugar. He'll fall asleep fine, but not stay asleep. I've limited his sugar intake altogether, but now it's also only early in the day.
BTW...I've lurked for a few months now. You and Paul are great parents! I think when you wait as long as some of us do (11 years for me!), the idea of not loving on your baby when she cries, is like asking us to not breathe. It's hard. Very, very hard. But gritting your teeth through a few days of "sleep school" is worth it in the end. Good sleep habits are something she needs to learn and you NEED her to learn to preserve your sanity.
Good luck!
Andi
Yes, it is hard to hear. The cry it out method is best. What worked for all 5 of the kids was the five minute method. If she awakes go in and check on her, reassure her your there and let her know you love her. Then leave the room. After 5 minutes do the same thing reassure her and lay her down (even if you know she will be getting up)Then increase the intervals by 5 minutes each time. This is hard believe me! But within a couple of weeks she will understand that she needs to go back to sleep. There were times when she would cry up to 2 hours and it was hell on all of us in the house as she would scream like someone was killing her. Eventually she started sleeping through the night again and still does.
When you go in the room don't take her out of the crib or turn on any other lights. This confuses them and they think it is time to get up. Routine, routine, routine. Keep it simple too.
I had to do all my kids the same way and it does work. My kids are all awesome sleepers now.
The nap thing, well if she really gets cranky and you know she is tired do the same basic concept for nap. Try room darkening shades too. Some kids just don't take naps after a certain age. But if you know she is truly sleepy she will wear herself out and drop off if you let her cry. That is just something you will have to figure out.
Good luck! Remember this is a stage most kids go through. It will be a thing of the past before you know it.
Happy Anniversary!
Becky
www.babygirlbennett.blogspot.com
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